I'd always been on friendly terms with my ex-girlfriend. I met her some years ago, through a mutual acquaintance. It wasn't intended to be a matchmaking setup; we were just in the same line of work, and she wanted some guidance with something. I wasn't actively looking for a relationship. Online dating had jaded me beyond belief (it still does). But after our first meeting, I knew there was potential there. So we got together. Back then, I was fiddling with game engine frameworks and libraries, and she was my reluctant beta tester for all the crappy and awful prototypes I had made. Feedback was varied; though she wasn't a gamer, she tried all the stuff out anyway. One day she joked, "This feels like a game made by someone with a bad personality!" I found that was hilarious. I think she was joking. And then we broke up a year later. It's funny how things work out sometimes. In retrospect, it's hard to describe what she meant to me. All I have are my words, and I know they won't come out the way I want. But here goes. We remained on speaking terms and texted each other occasionally. I remembered her birthday. She would tell me about her new job. Life stuff, small talk. And we even hung out every now and then. I really didn't have to, right? I could have just not replied to her anymore, moved on with my life, and not much would have changed. We shared something special at one point in time, but it was gone, and not a meaningful part of our current lives anymore. Eventually, she moved to another country. The physical distance seemed to accompany the emotional distance. And the time difference. I didn't meet her again for several years. Still, we kept in touch. I stopped by her country in 2019. It was the first time we'd met in nearly three years. When we met again, it was great. It almost seemed like we never separated. But when a friend asked me, "What is she to you?", I didn't have a good answer. I suppose how I'd describe us: have you ever met someone where, no matter how much time you spend apart, as soon as you're together again, it feels like no time has passed at all? That's how it felt whenever I was with her. I went home. And then 2020 rolled around. The year 2020 needs no introduction. During that time, the country she was living in completely disallowed all travelers coming in on a tourist visa. That was then. This is now. Everyone's vaccinated, and borders are open now. Being unemployed has afforded me a ton of time, so I texted her casually, "Hey, I've got some time. Want to hang out?" Her response was something I did not expect: "Hey, sorry I never said anything to you, but I met someone, and I've gotten married. Still, if you stop by my city, let me know, and we can hang out." Why had I always been on friendly terms with my ex? I think a part of me was like, "HA! Look how mature I am! I'm emotionally intelligent enough to be friends with someone even after a bad romantic relationship. HA!" In reality, a part of me still believed we had a chance to be together again. And my virtue signaling was just a hypocritical play at the long game. Otherwise, why would I have been so devastated when I learned she had gotten married and essentially moved on without me? And "best" of all, she probably already knew. She was always smarter than me. So I was building my game prototype, and I thought, "Wonder if I should have someone test this." It occurred to me that I never talked to her about this, so I texted her, "Remember when I tried making games? I'm trying to make games again." She replied, "Oh cool! Need help testing? I'll get my husband to test too!" Now, this was a curious development. On the one hand: I had unintentionally doubled my pool of beta testers. On the other hand: did she have a good enough relationship with her husband that he wouldn't mind helping out her ex-boyfriend? Maybe that's why she married him. As unhappy as I felt that we didn't work out, I'm glad she was able to find happiness. It was a weird feeling as I sent them both the Test Flight builds. Much to my chagrin, he's a pretty decent guy, it seems. Argh. And the feedback he gave was not bad. Double argh. But, remembering one of my former co-workers' favorite platitudes: "Feedback is a gift". I never really understood it, but now, I have some inkling of understanding of what that means -- despite all the personal feedback regarding the source of said feedback. I'm still not a fan of platitudes though. So, yeah, my ex-gf is now a beta tester. Hopefully the game will be better for it.