You must spring out of bed.
You must bargain with the lizardman.
You must heed your undead navigators.
You must slide rows or columns of tiles on a 6x8 grid.
You must match at least 3.
You must run to the right.
You must focus intently on 2 areas of the screen simultaneously.
You must match keys to unlock chests and swords to attack.
You must literally collect your thoughts and trade them for dragons.
You must not dally.
You must not be too hasty.
You must voluntarily ramp up the difficulty by taking on multiple quests at once.
You must incrementally reach your goals. You must build a boat.
You must try again.
You must try again x5.
You must win every time, even when you don’t.
You must remain optimistic.
You must upgrade your magic staff.
You must occasionally stop playing to allow for your hand to uncramp.
You must take credit for random chain combos you made no effort to arrange.
You must trust a blue bean man to make dangerous investments with your money.
You must forget about the blue bean man.
You must mind the asp.
You must reconcile that despite the game’s title, you begin your journey in possession of what is, in no uncertain terms, already a boat.
You must build a boat.
You must go all-in on the retro aesthetic.
You must trade junk for gold with the voidorb.
You must pray for salt.
You must consume fish and tomatoes for time.
You must venture through hell.
You must disarm traps like your life depends on it.
You must make an offering at the chapel.
You must rally the Fantasy Union and the Undead Buddies to your cause.
You must weigh anchor and methodically yet joyously hop in sync with your entire crew.
You must feign interest in critiquing the gardener’s work.
You must look up at the clock and wonder how it’s so late already.
You must build a boat.
You must build a boat!
YOU MUST BUILD A BOAT!!!
I've only gone and done one of those patches
- Changed some particle effects to better support modern gpus
- Long animations will play at increased speeds above Ace Level 2
- each ace level will now add 6 meters to the Final Artifact
- visual indicator when there are ten crates on the board and you are on the crate bomb quest
- fixed bug with crate bomb lag
- purchasing all items at Leem's arcanery unlocks a secret +300% spell damage bonus
- Shock and Freeze time now scale based on a function of spell damage bonus
- fixed visual sorting artifacts with semi-transparent sprites
- fixed an issue with achievements not working
- rebalanced some earlier quests that were a bit of a difficulty spike but werent intended to be
I had to update the engine version which ended up being a pretty big deal, I think I've squished all the bugs, but If i've missed anything please drop in the discord and let me know :) discord.gg/eightyeightgames
Been a while, hasn't it, old friend.
I added a couple of cool things, more skins to unlock in the daily challenge mode, oh and a skin manager so you can choose your skins too.
I added Spanish to localization which is pretty neat, but generally lots of little bugfixes. let me know if I've broke anything!
Sorry it's taken so long. I've been making my new game Photographs, Its very different to my usual stuff in some ways, but very similar in others. Take a look and add it to your wishlist if you like what you see
One day Jim was walking down the road.
Houses passed by as he sauntered along, and before he knew it he reached a fork in the road. Betwixt the fork lay a sign.
To the left it read "CERTAIN DEATH"
To the right it read "PATCH NOTES"
Jim was no fool. he took the path to the right.
The road turned to a dirt track, and then, not even that, but Jim carried on anyway.
He was forced to stop as a large stone blocked his way. Runes were etched upon it. Jim peered at the arcane writings, but managed to figure out a few words
- New Daily Challenge Mode - After finishing the game, get a new dungeon generated each day.
- New Skin Unlocks - Complete daily challenges to unlock new skins for your crew.
- Aces Wild - Increasing Ace levels now has much more effect than it used to.
- Localisation - Now you can build a boat in your favourite language
- Fast Cycle - You don’t have to do the tutorial again an Ace reset
- Bug fixes: Fixed lots of them
- Typos - Fixed the more embarrassing ones
"Interesting." said Jim.
One day Jim was walking down the road.
Houses passed by as he sauntered along, and before he knew it he reached a fork in the road. Betwixt the fork lay a sign.
To the left it read "CERTAIN DEATH"
To the right it read "PATCH NOTES"
Jim was no fool. he took the path to the right.
The road turned to a dirt track, and then, not even that, but Jim carried on anyway.
He was forced to stop as a large stone blocked his way. Runes were etched upon it. Jim peered at the arcane writings, but managed to figure out a few words
- New Daily Challenge Mode - After finishing the game, get a new dungeon generated each day.
- New Skin Unlocks - Complete daily challenges to unlock new skins for your crew.
- Aces Wild - Increasing Ace levels now has much more effect than it used to.
- Localisation - Now you can build a boat in your favourite language
- Fast Cycle - You dont have to do the tutorial again an Ace reset
- Bug fixes: Fixed lots of them
- Typos - Fixed the more embarrassing ones
"Interesting." said Jim.
Minimum Setup
- OS: Ubuntu 12.04 32-bit or Ubuntu 12.10 32-bit
- Processor: 2.6GHz single coreMemory: 1 GB RAM
- Memory: 1 GB RAM
- Graphics: OpenGL 2.0 compatible video card with 256 MB shared or dedicated RAM (ATI or NVIDIA)
- Storage: 150 MB available space
Recommended Setup
- OS: Ubuntu 12.04 32-bit or Ubuntu 12.10 32-bit
- Processor: 2.6GHz single coreMemory: 2 GB RAM
- Graphics: OpenGL 2.0 compatible video card with 256 MB shared or dedicated RAM (ATI or NVIDIA)
- Storage: 2 GB available space
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