Now accepting applications for employment in the mailroom of the Mephisto Building at 666 5th Street in thrilling and picturesque downtown Modesto, California. Candidate should be unemployed, desperate, and have a general sense of hopelessness. Ideal candidates will have recently received devastating news.

Must start October 24th.

Job description:

• Hybrid remote/on-site position

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• Must supply own computing equipment with a mouse and keyboard

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• Accustomed to gloomy and damp places

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• OK with blood

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Job Requirements:

• A human soul unfettered by contractual obligations to gods, demons, or lesser deities

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• No experience necessary

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Demo available October 24. Apply in the comments below.

FAQ

I have made a life-debt vow to a werewolf. Am I still qualified? Answer: Werewolves are not real and you are an idiot. Even if they were, a promise to a werewolf would not be worth the paper it was written on. Apply.

A powerful sorceress has bound me to her as a servant. Can I still apply? Answer: Easily broken. The sorceress is probably one of ours anyway. Apply.

I have a college degree and might be overqualified. Will I get a fair shot? Answer: Our hiring process is never fair. But desperation is one of our most valued attributes and you reek of it. What choice do you have? Apply, you pitiful creature.