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🌈 $5 Tier: [Benedikt][David Martínez Martí]
This is difficult to express, but I want to be as clear and honest as possible. I've made the decision to remove this game from Steam. I have seen multiple reviews from people having had a viscerally negative reaction, and that is the last thing I want from anything I put into the world. There's so much backstory, but I'll try and be brief. I originally wrote this in my early 20s. It was first commissioned as a play, though that ultimately fell through. My primary inspirations were the Japanese living doll myth and my experiences urban exploring in Germany (many backgrounds were crafted from photos I had taken). I've always loved horror films, but at the time a lot of what my friends and I were watching was pretty dull, pretty samey, and so my goal was to create something that would actually make an impression, have an impact, and stick with its readers; along the lines of a show like Black Mirror. The final act obviously deals with a difficult topic, sexual assault. I wanted the ending to be shocking, that was intentional, but never to cause harm. Instead, I thought I had crafted things in a way that would act as a jumping off point for some difficult discussions. Firstly, I identify as a gay man and have experienced assault myself. I was wrong to assume people would have taken my writing in good-faith, that it was written without sinister motives. Secondly, the girl was never meant to look underage. In retrospect, I should have been more careful to ensure there was no ambiguity. Because shes a doll (not human), I didnt consider the possibility of misinterpretation as thoroughly as I should have. Lastly, I didn't provide a clear enough trigger warning on the store page, fearing it would spoil the ending. This was also written long before the #MeToo movement, and I was a lot less educated on all the nuances of topics like these at the time. If I had written it now, in my mid-30s, in 2025, it would be very different. Still, some choices I stand behind: - I didn't glorify the act in any way, it was meant to be read as bleak, disgusting and pathetic. - The reason you find out that she's a lifeless doll during the assault, is because it was intended as a metaphor; people often disassociate during assaults, almost seeming lifeless. - Another conscious choice I made was to humanise the protagonist. Not all perpetrators are cartoon villains, many are complex individuals shaped by their own experiences and trauma. I feel that while uncomfortable, it is important to acknowledge that reality. He was someone who due to his mental illness had become obsessed with an old doll, believing her to be alive is his own reality. He was also completely powerless in his own life, and as is quite often the case, committed the assault in a misguided attempt to reclaim some autonomy. If you re-read the story after knowing the ending, you interpret his actions leading up to the assault completely differently, which was intended to show how easy it can be to be misled. And if you look beyond that, unlockables in the gallery strongly imply the protag. was abused himself, showing how these events can be cyclical. TLDR: I recognise where I went wrong and deeply regret any harm this project may have caused. If I were to write it today, it would be very different. I appreciate everyone who engaged with this work, and sincerely apologise to anyone who was negatively impacted.
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