Its already been more than 3 years since our last update?! What can we say? Life got in the way of pushing more regular updates out of the door, so we worked on this when we had some time to spare. Well, we havent completely forgotten about our dicks. Were back with a new update, and this one is quite big (thats what she said). The major things we have added are: Bots Computer controlled dicks for everyone! In response to requests from some of you who wanted to train before challenging your friends, we've introduced AI bots for you to spar against. Theyre not the smartest but theyll try to defeat you nonetheless and they can be replaced with a human player at any time during the game. Controller support You can get rid of your mouse and keyboard, everything from navigating the menus to sending other dicks flying can be done with a controller now. Unlocked items screen Have I unlocked the Badass helmet? Now you can check! Look for the items inventory button in the top right corner of the main menu. Networking improvements Weve tested, tweaked and retested until the remote clients feel was as good as the host. Many many smaller things 3 years is a long time and weve changed a lot of things from some UI elements to tweaks to how hard each ability hits. We aimed to enhance the game's polish and completeness while also increasing its pace to ensure you have even more fun with it. We hope you like this new release and look forward to hearing your feedback. We have also decided that this would mark our exit from early access. We dont want to give people false hopes that this game is going to expand much more than what it is now. If there is a surge in interest following this release, we might work on it some more but otherwise we will focus on creating another stupid project!

While looking at some youtube videos of people playing the game we realized that some things weren't as obvious as we thought (or maybe you guys are stupid). So we decided to call on professor Dick Anballs to teach you how to play the game. In the game's main menu, click on the professor to get a better understanding of how to play the game. Here's what else is new in this release :

• Added VFX for fast run damage
• Fixed most of the collisions that would cause the dick to stretch
• Changed which network driver is used
• Added missing translations
• Added the ability to change language (in the video settings)

So, it's been a while, a lot has happened. You might be thinking "I wonder if this game will ever get another update, I bet those guys died of COVID". And you'd be wrong ! We're still here, we're still working on the game ! So here's another update ! What does it bring ? Here you go :

• Updated to Unreal engine 4.25
• Rewrote a lot of the core logic in C++
• Added the ability to change skin colour
• Better projectile behaviour
• More interesting blinding effect when hit by cum
• Fast run ability now inflicts damage on contact (still needs VFX)
• Fury counter now stops at the edge of the screen
• Reworked the endgame level to be more consistent

After a few weeks of work (and silence) we are back with our first update of the year. This time around we've mostly worked on improving the user experience and adding a new translation. Here are the changes :

• Moved to Unreal Engine 4.24
• Added UI feedback to show how much is added to each stat when taking a boost and to which stat it applies.
• Added a chinese translation (thanks to Siyang Zhang)
• Added footstep noises (thanks to Joshua Valencia)
• Fixed a bug where opening the settings menu several time would add the available resolutions each time

Christmas is coming quick and we couldn't wait another 19 days to get you your present. What is it ? You ask. A brand new version of the game ! What's new ? A lot actually. Here's a list, starting with the fun stuff :

• A brand new seasonal item : a santa hat complete with its own physics
• Shooting your load on someone now does something, we'll let you test that one out

• [Server list] The ping is now accurate
• [Server list] The number of players is now accurate
• [End Game] The winner's character is now accurate (correct items equipped)
• [End Game] The game no longer crashes when trying to load the end game level in some situations
• [End Game] The back button now works correctly
• [Global] It should now be impossible to unlock the same item twice
• [In Game] The plane will now not drop a lootbox if there's already an unopened one on the map
• [In Game] Players are now notified when a player joins an in-progress game
• [In Game] A player that joins an in progress game gets assigned a random color and random items from the ones he has available
• [In Game] You can no longer hurt yourself with the machinegun (this would happen mostly with a high ping)
• [In Game] The default number of kills to win was changed from 1 to 3
• [In Game] Some sounds were not tagged as SFX (their level wasn't affected by the SFX level setting)
• [Arena Map] The water would appear white in some situations

Now that I'm back home, I've been looking into a lot of the bugs that happen with high ping situations. And boy is it ugly. Here's a short video showing what happens if I simulate 500ms ping (sure it's extreme but it's a good way to surface some of the more subtle bugs). [previewyoutube=JOnAZ3KnElg;full][/previewyoutube] Getting the game to be smooth even with very high pings is going to be a long term effort and I don't plan on the next release to have fixed all those bugs, only the more game breaking ones. In the meantime I'm mostly focusing on getting the rest of the experience to work the way we intended it to. This means that : * The lobby selection screen shows correct data (number of players and ping) * When joining an ongoing game, your dick gets some amount of customization (initially it will be random, we're thinking about how to have an experience similar to the lobby for people joining an ongoing game) * The victory screen works correctly (no crashing) and shows the winner with their full customization. This is what you can look forward to in the upcoming release which should come out the first week of December.

Hi everyone, it's been an amazing week, we launched on Monday and the game immediately took off and we blew past 1000 units sold in 3 days. It's amazing to us because we thought we would probably sell like 200 units overall. So thanks a lot to all the people who bought the game. But having so many players from such different parts of the world also highlighted a lot of the shortcomings of the game. We've only ever really tested it with people that were geographically close and having joined a few games we noticed immediately that it's very laggy. We also noticed a bunch of matchmaking issues. The ping and player counts on the join screen are bugged and never updated. We also didn't intend for games to be joinable once started and that causes some issues (for instance the game crashing at the victory screen). Unfortunately I'm on vacation right now (side note : releasing your game when on vacation is a stupid idea but, hey, we are called stupid industries +1 ). Our goal is to prepare a new version of the game that will address most of the issues I've talked about above by the end of November. Stay tuned and thanks for your patience. Crevetor

The time has finally come to show our genitals to the world. Yes my friends, you can now get your hands on our... game and try it out for yourself. Keep in mind that this is an early access and we fully intend to make it bigger and better in the coming months. If you would like to find other people to play with (this is intended to be a 4 player game) or give us feedback, join our discord. We hope you have a lot of fun playing our game. The team at Stupid Industries.

Well as you might have seen, the release date came and went. We're very sorry about that, we submitted our builds (Windows and Linux) to Steam but they rejected it several times. We thought we would be ready in time, but it turns out we aren't. The main blocker at this point is that the game crashes on SteamOS. Unfortunately I have tested on 2 of my computers on SteamOS and it has worked on both so I'm unsure what more to do. I have resubmitted the build for review, hopefully it passes this time. I'm not going to commit to another date at this point but hopefully we can get this resolved within the next week. Antoine (crevetor)