If you're looking for a game where you blow up a lot of stuff or murder a lot of people... this is not your game.
If you're looking for a game that's a beautiful visual spectacle... this is not your game.
But, if you're looking for witty razor-sharp satire on the themes of video games in our society... this is still not your game.
If you are looking for a zany spoof in the style of Monty Python and Mel Brooks... this is your game.
The beautiful, redheaded, and obnoxiously thin Princess Carmeana has been kidnapped and held ransom. The King, not wanting to incur the expense of deploying the army, decides to recruit a "fairy boy" to Rescue the Princess™. Meanwhile, there lived a poor farm boy named Kai (pronounced "Lance"). One day as he was trudging back to town, he encountered a fairy named Tabitha and saved her from financial ruin. Tabitha decided to tag along with Kai for awhile (it was the least she could do). As luck (or Destiny, depending on whether you believe Tabitha or Kai) would have it, they soon encountered an army recruiter who was looking for a "fairy boy". Kai's Glorious Quest™ to save the hot rich skinny redhead had begun.
In this third-person action adventure, Kai will travel all over the ostensibly medieval kingdom of Bowtudgel (rhymes with "cow cudgel") in his quest to Rescue the Princess™. Along the way, he will solve puzzles, make money, conquer a set dungeons that are one-to-one with the Kingdom's major biomes, help people (sort of), kill enemies (sort of), buy hats, and find future DLC sidequests that you know very well the game developers will never get around to making. Along the way, he'll discover that there might be something even bigger at stake than a missing princess....
As many of you know, I\'ve been developing the Ditty of Carmeana for a long time. And it turns out, when you\'ve been developing a game so long, some of the software used in the game and the toolchain can end up being on the old side, unless you are very on top of things. Which I was not.
Well, it turns out obsolete software can be a big maintenance burden, so I spent some time upgrading the game\'s dependencies to be not embarrassingly obsolete.
To give these new updates a spin before I [strike]inflict[/strike] send it out to everyone, I have created an Experimental Beta branch. It\'s the same game as the main branch, but new versions of some underlying software.
I am also planning to use the Experimental Beta branch to test other game engine changes and minor content updates. So if you do play the Experimental Beta branch, you might get an advance preview of some small updates or additions.
Another thing: if you run the Experimental Beta branch, and the game crashes, it will send a crash report unconditionally. So make sure you\'re okay with that.
At some point, I will update the main branch to use the new software versions.
The major changes to the Experimental Beta branch are listed below.
Base version of OpenGL increased to 3.3. It had been, I think, 2.1. I don\'t know why I didn\'t go all the way to 4.5, which is probably the last version of OpenGL that will ever be.
[/*]Blender upgraded to version 4.5. I had been using Blender 2.79, the last version that used the old Blender Render materials. It was kind of embarrassing that in 2025 I had an actively maintained game based on Blender Render. Because the internals of Blender changed a lot over that time, this is the diciest change in terms of things that might be different or broken.
[/*]Got rid of the OpenAL-based sound engine in favor of SoLoud.
[/*]Updated Python to version 3.13.
[/*]Pulled the latest versions of various other tools
[/*]New way to send crash reports based on Discord.
[/*]
Minimum Setup
- Processor: 1.5 GhzMemory: 2 GB RAM
- Memory: 2 GB RAM
- Graphics: AMD Radeon 300 series. NVidia GeForce 700 series. or thereabouts. 1 GB
- Storage: 600 MB available space
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