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OK listen up gamers!!! the new version is out. WOW. this patch is enormous and theres a lot to go over! so much so in fact that i will separate each big change into multiple sections... fancy...

The New Block On The Block

Art by blauxel!
Blocking has been totally overhauled. Previously, blocking worked like this: if you held block the same turn the opponent launched an attack, you got to parry and counterattack. If you started block a little later, it would be a soft-block and both characters would wait for the attacker to finish their animation. the real ugly things about old block, though, are how delayed attacks would ignore block entirely, that you were stuck in the animation, allowing for counterattack, and worst of all, that you had to guess which height the opponent was attacking you from or else your block didn't matter at all. all this combined made little sense and rendered blocking nearly useless as a defensive tool. in 1.7.0, the best form of defense was running away. that's no fun. New block is a lot different. First off, it's been consolidated to one button, with the "block height" selection as part of the action's parameters.
You probably also noticed the new melee parry timing parameter. Since blocking is less risky, landing parries against melee has been made more difficult (however, parrying projectiles is unchanged from 1.7.0). While before you only needed to predict where your opponent would attack, now you need to predict where and when. Guessing wrong will result in a normal block, while guessing correctly rewards you with a parry. These prediction values are automatically updated whenever you press the block button, automatically detecting the timing and block height of the opponent's action you are trying to predict. let me elaborate with a GIF:
the shrewd hustler might notice another thing: both types of block now block every attack - that is to say, high block will block low attacks, and low block will block high attacks. Instead of having your block broken through entirely, blocking the wrong attack height will give your opponent more Block Advantage, a mechanic that barely existed in 1.7.0 but is much more prevalent and important now, so it needs some explaining too. Block Advantage delays your or your opponent's next move's startup by a certain number of frames. For example, if you have a block advantage of +1, your opponent's next move will be delayed by one frame. Watch what happens when P1 Cowboy is +1 on block, and both Cowboys try to Pommel at the same time.
Note that your opponent enters the next state immediately regardless of block stun, but the startup of their move is increased. So, for example, if an action is invulnerable upon starting it, it will be invulnerable frame 1, no matter what. To make up for losing the ability to open up your opponents with high/low mixups, an equivalent has been introduced in the form of Guard Breaks. These are moves that cannot be blocked normally, and they must be parried. Guard breaks, are supposed to be more analogous to overhead attacks in 2d fighters (or lows in 3d fighters like Tekken) - low damage, risky ways to open up your opponent's guard and keep them guessing. To mimic this effect, landing a Guard Break moderately scales your combo.
Hustlers with at least 1 bar of meter now have access to the new Push Block action, which pushes away the opponent more than regular block but does not allow for parrying.
And maybe most importantly, I wanted to touch on a big aesthetic and coolness improvement in the form of hit-cancelling on block, a feature standard in real-time fighting games that comes to join Your Only Move Is HUSTLE to allow for what it has sorely lacked: COOL BLOCKSTRINGS.
If this explanation made no sense, check out the brilliant community doc on the new block system.

UI Decluttering

The UI has been shifted around during gameplay to allow some breathing room to see what's going on. Super meters and character specific info has been moved to the top of the screen. During replays, the game looks the same as it did before.

Huge Performance Improvements

With the rising prominence of the only optimized moves mod, it became clear the game was in need of some de-chugging. This mod should no longer be required (though the modder technically did a better job than me and helped me to find the source of the issue) as the main cause of lag -- checking predictions of different moves -- has been dramatically optimized.
Hopefully you should no longer need a supercomputer to run the stick figure game.

Major Character Changes

Mutant

COMING SOON LOL

I was too busy balancing everyone else but now that the game is perfect I have time for slopman

Ninja

Ninja's biggest change this patch has been the complete rework of storing and releasing momentum, which came out of the removal of Quick Slash in neutral. First off, Ninja can now store 3 charges of momentum.
Instead of the Release Momentum, action Ninja now has a Boost toggle that can be freely enabled alongside any attack or special. Ninjas can now angle their stored momentum in any direction, allowing for unique and interesting movement tricks. Both storing and boosting now consume 1 meter, but boosting doesn't actually require any meter to use (similar to Orb Portal).

Some other interesting Ninja changes:

• Back Sway is now usable in the air
• Grounded Dive Kick can now go upward.
• Both Summon types can now be out at once.
• Caltrops now gets destroyed by melee attacks.

Cowboy

Cowboy has got a lot of changes, mainly to Teleport and bullet-related moves. Many of the changes are to help with QOL, anti-stalling, and better interacting with the new block system. Cowboy has a new move, Pistol Whip. It's an aerial normal attack that sends downward. It also is usable in Quick Draw. It was made to serve the role in combos that down throw had in 1.7.0.
Cowboy's Temporal Round now fires and consumes a normal bullet. The angle of the shot is determined by DI, and it auto-aims at the opponent with no DI.
A big and perhaps controversial change is that Cowboy's Teleport and Instant Teleport have been merged into a single move that costs 1 bar of meter. Additionally, Teleport now has a (rather lenient) angle restriction when used in neutral, much like Foresight. Both have had their restrictions removed during combos.
Foresight and Shift should now function as the de-facto meterless replacement for Old Teleport, with New Teleport serving as a metered glimpse into Cowboy's past as a stage control monster with little accountability. Other interesting Cowboy changes:

• 1,000 Cuts is a meter-drain super (like Orb) now.
• Cowboy lassoes his gun during Gun Throw, allowing it to return to him like a boomerang.
• First hit of 3 Combo is now hit-cancellable.
• Draw Cancel now triggers on hit and block.

Wizard

Wizard has been changed the least of the cast, but still has some important differences. You might notice Wizard's new gravity meter, replacing the ugly green slab from 1.7.0.
Wizard no longer uses Draw Moisture to gain droplets. Instead, they are automatically gained when landing a melee attack in neutral or parrying the opponent's melee attack.
Relatedly, Geyser is now a melee attack, allowing for hitcancels (though still not Free Cancels).
Zephyr has been given a unique throw animation.
Other interesting Wizard changes:

• Spark buff improves block advantage on Missile Form's headbutt hitbox.
• Flame Wave has been slightly toned down.
• Big rock causes hard knockdown.
• Bomb fuse is now twice as long.

Robot

Robot has had a lot of big changes. The biggest is perhaps the new rework to Armor. Robot's Armor has been demoted in most cases to autoguard, where Robot is put in a block situation when hit by melee attacks during an armored move. Robot will power through projectiles like normal, of course.
Robot can get old Armor back by landing Kill Process.
Robot has two new moves. One is called OVERFLOW, an air-to-ground command throw that refreshes an air option when used.
Robot's other new move, PROPEL, is a forward-moving grounded option that allows Robot to retain some momentum while performing grounded actions.
Robot's Flight ability has been adjusted. Flight momentum is now additively applied with forces, instead of going in a straight direction. Robot has been given a 4th air option to compensate. This opens up more interesting and unique uses of momentum alongside Robot's other moves.
Finally, Gravity Field has been removed. I hate removing options, especially super moves, but Gravity Field was an ugly fix to robot's biggest problem in 1.7.0: poor neutral. It was less than fun to deal with this move as the opponent, and served to reduce interactivity instead of enhance it. Robot's changes this patch should ideally avoid the need for such a move in the first place. RIP. Other interesting Robot changes:

• Drive Cancel on block allows for dynamic and tricky blockstrings, making Robot a true stance character now.
• Landing hitbox is no longer stage-wide.
• LOIC is a level 2 super now, with some buffs to justify it.
• Drive stance's previously weaker options have been buffed.

Other Highlights

• The general minimum turn length has been tuned to be 10 frames (instead of 8). Most movement, landing lag, etc, has been adjusted to reflect this.
• Free Cancel is now enabled by default - you can turn this off in the options menu.
• Stalling has been further nerfed this patch with increasingly harsh Sadness penalties for excessively passive gameplay.

tl;dr i've been working like a dog since August on this patch, collaborating with the community to improve fun and balance and optimization and all that stuff with over 30 patches in just two months. theres a lot of changes, additions, and removals. your fav character has been changed a lot - all of them have! I've been focusing heavily on listening to player feedback (at all levels) and adjusting accordingly. things might break but i'll fix them. happy hustling!!!organiccucumberorganiccucumber