Hello! Me again, sorry. Just popping v1.046 live for you, with some fixes and some fixes? Thanks again for all your support so far, I'm utterly delighted to see so many people having so much fun with this. Please keep recommending it, keep streaming it, keep talking about it. Your engagement is like gold to me, so please keep it up. As always, if there's anything awry you've spotted, the best way to let me know is dan@sizefivegames.com, because it's easy to miss stuff when it's just tweeted or left as a comment somewhere! [if this patch breaks something I'm not aware of, you can opt into the Beta build which is now 1.044 which was the last version. Right click the game in your Library-> Properties->Betas passcode is thekickmenbeta.] FIXED: some sutpid typos that were pointed out to me by someone for who(m?) English is their SECOND LANGUAGE and I found that quite embarrassing FIXED: an issue where if you were charging a tackle as a whistle blew, it could get locked in charge state FIXED: Promotion/ Demotion text no longer displays if you draw a match after being promoted/ demoted FIXED: prevented game from losing focus when using mouse controls FIXED: an issue that was making Goldkeepers in QuickPlay slightly more inept than they should be FIXED?: Made a 2nd attempt at stopping some gfx cards playing menus at like 40,000fps and having a bit of a meltdown. I can't replicate this issue here, so let me know if it's still busted? FIXED?: 4:3 safety now safer than ever. Let me know if anything else is still hanging over the edge of the screen?

[ 2017-07-22 13:38:42 CET ] [ Original post ]

Hello! Me again, sorry. Just popping v1.046 live for you, with some fixes and some fixes? Thanks again for all your support so far, I'm utterly delighted to see so many people having so much fun with this. Please keep recommending it, keep streaming it, keep talking about it. Your engagement is like gold to me, so please keep it up. As always, if there's anything awry you've spotted, the best way to let me know is dan@sizefivegames.com, because it's easy to miss stuff when it's just tweeted or left as a comment somewhere! [if this patch breaks something I'm not aware of, you can opt into the Beta build which is now 1.044 which was the last version. Right click the game in your Library-> Properties->Betas passcode is thekickmenbeta.] FIXED: some sutpid typos that were pointed out to me by someone for who(m?) English is their SECOND LANGUAGE and I found that quite embarrassing FIXED: an issue where if you were charging a tackle as a whistle blew, it could get locked in charge state FIXED: Promotion/ Demotion text no longer displays if you draw a match after being promoted/ demoted FIXED: prevented game from losing focus when using mouse controls FIXED: an issue that was making Goldkeepers in QuickPlay slightly more inept than they should be FIXED?: Made a 2nd attempt at stopping some gfx cards playing menus at like 40,000fps and having a bit of a meltdown. I can't replicate this issue here, so let me know if it's still busted? FIXED?: 4:3 safety now safer than ever. Let me know if anything else is still hanging over the edge of the screen?

[ 2017-07-22 13:38:42 CET ] [ Original post ]

BEHOLD THE KICKMEN started as a silly Twitter joke, and evolved like a beautiful flower into the year's least-exciting and mostly-incorrect Football Simulation. It's football, as seen through the eyes of someone with no understanding of, or interest in, the Laws of Football.

Start at the bottom of the Big Boring British Football Spreadsheet system and grind your way up, gruelling match after gruelling match, to become the best at the football that anyone's ever seen, and win the World Cup for your mantelpiece.

FEATURES: Kicking, Passing, Tackling, Squad Management and Doing Goals over and over. There's even a full Story mode, crammed with overblown melodrama and inane decisions to be made.



TWO WAYS TO PLAY! Hate football? No problem! The entire game can be re-skinned at the flip of a switch into a Dystopian Future Bloodsport!

PLEASE NOTE: Kickmen has NO ONLINE MULTIPLAYER and NO LOCAL MULTIPLAYER, it's Single Player ONLY. Please don't buy it thinking it's at all sociable, because it isn't. Why, you ask? Because I wanted to make a Single Player game, I didn't want to make a Multiplayer game.