v1.047 is just some boring fixes to minor issues, and some attempts to make older controllers work more reliably. FIXED: an issue where doing a big kick at the instant a pop-up popped up in the Training caused a mishap FIXED: a misspelling of the word FOOTBALL which I mean how did I even FIXED: an issue where Goldkeepers could get sent off for being offside which, I mean, I don't know the rules but that doesn't "feel" like it's right? FIXED: an issue with Pause Screen buttons interferring with Tutorial pop-up boxes. ADDED: an extra double-triple failsafe for the ball getting stuck out of bounds because, despite the fact the code is rock solid on that, somehow some of you have still somehow managed it ADDED: Custom Controller map for Xbox360 pad users, in the hopes of solving a connection issue ADDED: Right Stick customisation to the Options->Input screen, in the hopes of solving some PS3 controller sensitivity issues FIXED?: Added custom controls for those of you using a PS3/ PS4 controller, in the hopes it fixes the Right Stick lack of sensitivity issue FIXED?: Occasional Mac crash bug caused by OSX failing to load a Library because [TODO: make up some clever tech terminology here? I honestly have no idea]

[ 2017-07-24 11:33:23 CET ] [ Original post ]

v1.047 is just some boring fixes to minor issues, and some attempts to make older controllers work more reliably. FIXED: an issue where doing a big kick at the instant a pop-up popped up in the Training caused a mishap FIXED: a misspelling of the word FOOTBALL which I mean how did I even FIXED: an issue where Goldkeepers could get sent off for being offside which, I mean, I don't know the rules but that doesn't "feel" like it's right? FIXED: an issue with Pause Screen buttons interferring with Tutorial pop-up boxes. ADDED: an extra double-triple failsafe for the ball getting stuck out of bounds because, despite the fact the code is rock solid on that, somehow some of you have still somehow managed it ADDED: Custom Controller map for Xbox360 pad users, in the hopes of solving a connection issue ADDED: Right Stick customisation to the Options->Input screen, in the hopes of solving some PS3 controller sensitivity issues FIXED?: Added custom controls for those of you using a PS3/ PS4 controller, in the hopes it fixes the Right Stick lack of sensitivity issue FIXED?: Occasional Mac crash bug caused by OSX failing to load a Library because [TODO: make up some clever tech terminology here? I honestly have no idea]

[ 2017-07-24 11:33:23 CET ] [ Original post ]

BEHOLD THE KICKMEN started as a silly Twitter joke, and evolved like a beautiful flower into the year's least-exciting and mostly-incorrect Football Simulation. It's football, as seen through the eyes of someone with no understanding of, or interest in, the Laws of Football.

Start at the bottom of the Big Boring British Football Spreadsheet system and grind your way up, gruelling match after gruelling match, to become the best at the football that anyone's ever seen, and win the World Cup for your mantelpiece.

FEATURES: Kicking, Passing, Tackling, Squad Management and Doing Goals over and over. There's even a full Story mode, crammed with overblown melodrama and inane decisions to be made.



TWO WAYS TO PLAY! Hate football? No problem! The entire game can be re-skinned at the flip of a switch into a Dystopian Future Bloodsport!

PLEASE NOTE: Kickmen has NO ONLINE MULTIPLAYER and NO LOCAL MULTIPLAYER, it's Single Player ONLY. Please don't buy it thinking it's at all sociable, because it isn't. Why, you ask? Because I wanted to make a Single Player game, I didn't want to make a Multiplayer game.