Fed up of that humdrum lifestyle? Are you weighed down by the responsibilities of family, work, and other drudging commitments? Are you sick of adverts telling you that you can get better car insurance?

You're in luck! For the humble price of this game you'll be transported into a world where these irritations will become a thing of the past!

No longer will you have to put up with this collapsing world of moral turpitude which stresses you out and ages you beyond your years. You can become a new you! ! Seasoned, handsome, rugged, experienced! Everything that romance novels promise and reality fails to deliver!


Trained from death to provide a variety of scary services, they're all the rave at children's parties! Why look at a menu when you could be one!




... whilst making merry with our resident Mer-folk! Many an adventurer has enjoyed their company on his, or her quest for glory!



Our Acid Baths will cleanse your skin in ways you can only dream of!


... and if you're really lucky, we'll give you a shave so close you'll swear by our standards of excellence!



There's also the fabled cup of Immortality! Many adventurers are just dying to get one in their collection!

What will you make of this wonderful world? Only time will tell! But be quick! No one lives forever!

Warning: The Underworld might contain - Furry Rodents, strange Snake Ladies with questionable tastes in Explorers, Addled Wizards, and Ancient Demons sealed away for all time.