Dirty Land is a videogame about real estate, crime, and desperation, inspired by classic sales movies of the 80s and 90s. Step into the shoes of Frank Marsh, a newly hired salesman for Pure Sky Properties, a real estate office where coffee is for closers and the status quo is hawking swamp land to unsuspecting buyers for a tidy profit. Will you cast aside your ethics for a quick buck, or will you take the high road and find a way to scrape by honestly? We need your help to bring Dirty Land to Windows, OSX, and Linux. And of course... Steam! [previewyoutube=-QjwUlMCBDU;full][/previewyoutube] We are currently live on Kickstarter too: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/naturally/dirty-land-thrill-of-the-sale/ Check it out!

[ 2020-09-26 16:37:07 CET ] [ Original post ]

STEAM - COMING SOON

Check out the Steam Coming Soon page for Episode Two: http://store.steampowered.com/app/798630/Patchman_vs_Blue_Squares/ Please follow and add to your wishlist! :)

KICKSTARTER - LIVE NOW!

We're also running a Kickstarter!
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/naturally/patchman-vs-blue-squares Visit there to try out our free demo and meet the Sheeple Drifter! :) We put a ton of work into this! We need your help to not let it all disappear into the void! Please wishlist us and consider your pledge! Or else the Sheeple will never be rescued! :(

[ 2018-03-12 22:23:16 CET ] [ Original post ]

STEAM - COMING SOON

Check out the Steam Coming Soon page for Episode Two: http://store.steampowered.com/app/798630/Patchman_vs_Blue_Squares/ Please follow and add to your wishlist! :)

KICKSTARTER - LIVE NOW!

We're also running a Kickstarter!
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/naturally/patchman-vs-blue-squares Visit there to try out our free demo and meet the Sheeple Drifter! :) We put a ton of work into this! We need your help to not let it all disappear into the void! Please wishlist us and consider your pledge! Or else the Sheeple will never be rescued! :(

[ 2018-03-12 22:23:16 CET ] [ Original post ]

Hi! Notice anything different? After long deliberation, this package has been renamed to PATCHMAN VS. RED CIRCLES (again!) and most likely won't be updated with further episodes. Why? Because we are making the second episode right now, PATCHMAN VS. BLUE SQUARES and have to release it separately. Reasoning below, but first, an apology:

Sorry!

If I do disappoint you with this move, I'm really sorry!! Just know I had to decide for a long time, a painful decision, and am making what I can out of a tough situation. I'll break it down in two parts why it's the best course of action: First, survival/financial/marketing reasons. If I only add the new episode to this package, it is 99.9% likely die a lonely death that no one will know about it except the owners, who are very few. Yeah, this game didn't sell well, AT ALL. Like if you even KNOW about this game's existence, you are in a very exclusive club. So for survival reasons I have to release a second episode separately on Steam to (hopefully) get any awareness.

Technically, It's The Only Way...

Second: technical reasons. I could keep this package as the full game, but with another separate package for episode two, then I'll have to update two packages at once, PLUS I'll have to create a third package for Episode One which is basically a duplicate of this one! Come on! That's three packages to build and maintain!! I can't even... so it makes more sense to "freeze" this package and focus my efforts on one new package. I've updated all three OS builds with a new splash screen and will fix any bugs that creep in. Any major new improvements like lighting/gameplay will be backported here too. And one day hopefully make my dream come true of the full game as a full package - and as I hinted above, maybe that will be this package? Will have to see... it's too far in the future... I could be homeless by then...

Free Keys For You!

Bottom line: EVERYONE who bought this game will get FREE KEYS to the upcoming episode and any future ones. Trust me, it's THE LAST thing I want to do to rip anyone off, or break promises, I'm NOT like that. To get a free key to the next game, you have to do a bit of work. First, beat level 2 or higher so that your Steam account is posted on the leaderboard. Second, email: contact@naturallyintelligent.com with your Steam name shown on the board. That's it! You'll be put on a secret special mailing list for future free keys... ooo!

Upcoming

Patchman will be back before you know it with a BRAND NEW DEMO, an upcoming Steam wishlist page, and a little Kickstarter for episode two! We are super-stoked about the new episode demo, and can't wait to share it with you! :)

[ 2018-02-06 03:33:40 CET ] [ Original post ]

Hi! Notice anything different? After long deliberation, this package has been renamed to PATCHMAN VS. RED CIRCLES (again!) and most likely won't be updated with further episodes. Why? Because we are making the second episode right now, PATCHMAN VS. BLUE SQUARES and have to release it separately. Reasoning below, but first, an apology:

Sorry!

If I do disappoint you with this move, I'm really sorry!! Just know I had to decide for a long time, a painful decision, and am making what I can out of a tough situation. I'll break it down in two parts why it's the best course of action: First, survival/financial/marketing reasons. If I only add the new episode to this package, it is 99.9% likely die a lonely death that no one will know about it except the owners, who are very few. Yeah, this game didn't sell well, AT ALL. Like if you even KNOW about this game's existence, you are in a very exclusive club. So for survival reasons I have to release a second episode separately on Steam to (hopefully) get any awareness.

Technically, It's The Only Way...

Second: technical reasons. I could keep this package as the full game, but with another separate package for episode two, then I'll have to update two packages at once, PLUS I'll have to create a third package for Episode One which is basically a duplicate of this one! Come on! That's three packages to build and maintain!! I can't even... so it makes more sense to "freeze" this package and focus my efforts on one new package. I've updated all three OS builds with a new splash screen and will fix any bugs that creep in. Any major new improvements like lighting/gameplay will be backported here too. And one day hopefully make my dream come true of the full game as a full package - and as I hinted above, maybe that will be this package? Will have to see... it's too far in the future... I could be homeless by then...

Free Keys For You!

Bottom line: EVERYONE who bought this game will get FREE KEYS to the upcoming episode and any future ones. Trust me, it's THE LAST thing I want to do to rip anyone off, or break promises, I'm NOT like that. To get a free key to the next game, you have to do a bit of work. First, beat level 2 or higher so that your Steam account is posted on the leaderboard. Second, email: contact@naturallyintelligent.com with your Steam name shown on the board. That's it! You'll be put on a secret special mailing list for future free keys... ooo!

Upcoming

Patchman will be back before you know it with a BRAND NEW DEMO, an upcoming Steam wishlist page, and a little Kickstarter for episode two! We are super-stoked about the new episode demo, and can't wait to share it with you! :)

[ 2018-02-06 03:33:40 CET ] [ Original post ]

Do you want a unique coffee mug proclaiming how GREAT you are? And how you're not even Patchman? Well, you have until the end of December to log your score on our leaderboards.

CLAIMING TOP SPOT

We currently have 14 eligible top slots to claim, at least two of which are *completely* blank! That means no other competition for those slots (Fastest Time, Level 7/8). There are even some boards that have only a single entry or very few entries. So your chances of placing are quite high right now, as compared to say a year from now when the boards will potentially be more clogged up!
A handy list of all the leaderboards, plus more info+rules: http://www.dontbepatchman.com/leaderboards.php

MUG PREVIEW

Concept of the mug design (will be improved+finalized after contest):

EPISODE TWO

Works progresses nicely on Episode Two! We are super excited about it. Here is an early screenshot of Patchman finding the Square Boss:
There will be a lot more info in January. For anyone interested and able to help push my development forward at a faster pace, I've started a Patreon. HAPPY SHEEPLEDAYS Merry XMAS to all, and to all be not Patchman!

[ 2017-12-24 16:04:25 CET ] [ Original post ]

Do you want a unique coffee mug proclaiming how GREAT you are? And how you're not even Patchman? Well, you have until the end of December to log your score on our leaderboards.

CLAIMING TOP SPOT

We currently have 14 eligible top slots to claim, at least two of which are *completely* blank! That means no other competition for those slots (Fastest Time, Level 7/8). There are even some boards that have only a single entry or very few entries. So your chances of placing are quite high right now, as compared to say a year from now when the boards will potentially be more clogged up!
A handy list of all the leaderboards, plus more info+rules: http://www.dontbepatchman.com/leaderboards.php

MUG PREVIEW

Concept of the mug design (will be improved+finalized after contest):

EPISODE TWO

Works progresses nicely on Episode Two! We are super excited about it. Here is an early screenshot of Patchman finding the Square Boss:
There will be a lot more info in January. For anyone interested and able to help push my development forward at a faster pace, I've started a Patreon. HAPPY SHEEPLEDAYS Merry XMAS to all, and to all be not Patchman!

[ 2017-12-24 16:04:25 CET ] [ Original post ]

Japanese, French, Russian, Spanish, and German!
Full menu, story, comic book, and level name translations (basically everything important in the game) have been added to our game. With the help of many friends, who just happen to be fluent in these languages, the game was translated.
One caveat: the store pages and title images were not translated, but everything in the game past the splash screen is! And even the splash screen provides the translation for that art.
These are all the languages supported. If it has a thought bubble that means fully supported, otherwise it's just translated for menus.
LOL!

[ 2017-11-16 20:23:42 CET ] [ Original post ]

Japanese, French, Russian, Spanish, and German!
Full menu, story, comic book, and level name translations (basically everything important in the game) have been added to our game. With the help of many friends, who just happen to be fluent in these languages, the game was translated.
One caveat: the store pages and title images were not translated, but everything in the game past the splash screen is! And even the splash screen provides the translation for that art.
These are all the languages supported. If it has a thought bubble that means fully supported, otherwise it's just translated for menus.
LOL!

[ 2017-11-16 20:22:04 CET ] [ Original post ]

Launch is a go!!
Don't be Patchman? But you ARE Patchman! So how do you stop being him? We can think of one way... We've built, played, battered, and finalized the first episode of the game. Twenty Steam Achievements are ready to be collected, we're running a Leaderboard contest, you can start collecting the comic book, and begin figuring out the mystery of why YOU shouldn't be Patchman. Who? Well, come along with us and find out. We have so much to show you... epic plot twists, mind-blowing theme, and all that. Later, when we add more episodes, this Steam package will contain them for FREE! I must apologize as the budget behind this game is tiny and as such the technical visual quality isn't as amazing as your average game is expected to be these days. But what we lack in tech we made up for in clever gameplay and unique story! You can enter our leaderboard contest to win a coffee mug just by playing on Steam, but we'll have one more never-done-before contest announced next week. It should be a doozy! cheers

[ 2017-10-19 15:11:55 CET ] [ Original post ]

Launch is a go!!
But you are Patchman. So how do you stop being him? We can think of one way... We've built, played, battered, and finalized the first episode of the game. Twenty Steam Achievements are ready to be collected, we're running a Leaderboard contest, you can start collecting the comic book, and begin figuring out the mystery of why YOU shouldn't be Patchman. Who? Well, come along with us and find out. We have so much to show you... epic plot twists, mind-blowing themes, and all that. Later, when we add more episodes, this Steam package will contain them for FREE! I must apologize as the budget behind this game is tiny and as such the technical visual quality isn't as amazing as your average game is expected to these days. But what we lack in tech we made up for in clever gameplay and unique story! You can enter our leaderboard contest to win a coffee mug just by playing on Steam, but we'll have one more never-done-before contest announced next week. It should be a doozy! cheers

[ 2017-10-19 15:11:55 CET ] [ Original post ]

LEADERBOARD CONTEST: At the end of the year we'll be sending out Championship Coffee Mugs to the top players on our Steam leaderboards! We'll take a snapshot of the best scores at the end of each year, post them, and if you're on it you'll just need to contact us to claim your mug by sending us your mailing address. We hope to run the same contest every year.
For the best scores, and to be logged on Fastest Time boards, we advise playing on HARD difficulty mode. You can see full information about the contest here: http://www.dontbepatchman.com/leaderboards.php TRADING CARDS: We've added 6 trading cards to the game! The first five feature Patchman fighting one of the bosses in the game, while the final card is a special rare victory card showing Patchman on top of a pile of broken drones. In this card Patchman has all the power, as he holds the hoe, the most useful gardening tool, and in the other hand he holds the comic book, so he knows the truth... We want to show them off but then that would spoil the fun of collecting them!

[ 2017-09-18 20:45:13 CET ] [ Original post ]

LEADERBOARD CONTEST: At the end of the year we'll be sending out Championship Coffee Mugs to the top players on our Steam leaderboards! We'll take a snapshot of the best scores at the end of each year, post them, and if you're on it you'll just need to contact us to claim your mug by sending us your mailing address. We hope to run the same contest every year.
For the best scores, and to be logged on Fastest Time boards, we advise playing on HARD difficulty mode. You can see full information about the contest here: http://www.dontbepatchman.com/leaderboards.php TRADING CARDS: We've added 6 trading cards to the game! The first five feature Patchman fighting one of the bosses in the game, while the final card is a special rare victory card showing Patchman on top of a pile of broken drones. In this card Patchman has all the power, as he holds the hoe, the most useful gardening tool, and in the other hand he holds the comic book, so he knows the truth... We want to show them off but then that would spoil the fun of collecting them!

[ 2017-09-18 20:44:48 CET ] [ Original post ]

After a lot of debate, we've made a significant change to our game mechanics. The hoe, shovel, and axe have all been modified and placed in different levels. Why? Part of the reason is that the hoe was always supposed to be the most powerful tool, the goto for Patchman, but it turned out the shovel became by far the best tool to take with you from the shack. OLD TOOL POWERS: Hoe - Removes low plants from the ground/soil Shovel - Digs new soil Axe - Removes larger plants from the ground/soil NEW TOOL POWERS: Axe - Removes most plants and bushes Hoe - Creates new soil from grassy tiles Shovel - Digs near water and rivers to expand them This new setup gives a broader range of actions Patchman can do! The unfortunate part is that now you get the Axe first, and that seems a bit out of place, not getting the Hoe until the Sheeple Rush level. Also, the Axe is misleading because players tend to think it can be used to attack Drones or Sheeple... but it's really not meant to do that. So we may even at some point replace the Axe with a less "offensive" tool. BALANCING: TODO All the tools still need more balancing. The hoe is a bit overpowerful, so we are thinking of ways to tone it down a bit. The overpower doesn't really make the game way easier, just slower. If you can hoe unlimited soil and grow too many plants, the simulation will just slow down. So we want to have a way to limit that, whether it's weeds or grass that overgrow your extra soil, or something else...

[ 2017-07-06 21:07:14 CET ] [ Original post ]

After a lot of debate, we've made a significant change to our game mechanics. The hoe, shovel, and axe have all been modified and placed in different levels. Why? Part of the reason is that the hoe was always supposed to be the most powerful tool, the goto for Patchman, but it turned out the shovel became by far the best tool to take with you from the shack. OLD TOOL POWERS: Hoe - Removes low plants from the ground/soil Shovel - Digs new soil Axe - Removes larger plants from the ground/soil NEW TOOL POWERS: Axe - Removes most plants and bushes Hoe - Creates new soil from grassy tiles Shovel - Digs near water and rivers to expand them This new setup gives a broader range of actions Patchman can do! The unfortunate part is that now you get the Axe first, and that seems a bit out of place, not getting the Hoe until the Sheeple Rush level. Also, the Axe is misleading because players tend to think it can be used to attack Drones or Sheeple... but it's really not meant to do that. So we may even at some point replace the Axe with a less "offensive" tool. BALANCING: TODO All the tools still need more balancing. The hoe is a bit overpowerful, so we are thinking of ways to tone it down a bit. The overpower doesn't really make the game way easier, just slower. If you can hoe unlimited soil and grow too many plants, the simulation will just slow down. So we want to have a way to limit that, whether it's weeds or grass that overgrow your extra soil, or something else...

[ 2017-07-06 21:07:14 CET ] [ Original post ]

I am very proud to announce the release of DON'T BE PATCHMAN: EPISODE ONE. What is Episode One? There weren't any episodes before! Well, the game has grown too big, so now there are episodes. Each island is an episode. The first island is Episode One, it's the forest island with Red Drones and the Circle Boss, plus Granny and the House Sheeple. It contains four comic book pages to collect, each with it's own music. There are ten levels, some of them are quite complex. The last level, the circle boss level, has a NEW surprise ending when you beat it! There are a TON of new features in this release. Procedural generation is a big one! Level Nine is a drone factory maze that changes every time you play it. Many of the levels have what I call "partial" procedural generation, the level as a whole "feels" the same every time you play, but a lot of things are moved around each time, creating a unique experience for every player. Other features that are new include story dialogs, effects level setting, shack menu, swarm levels, drone sight scanners, orange prediction power, poster counts, new music and sound, drone garages, destructive beam machines, shovel tool, stomach UI, joystick hints, and more... We will continue to provide each episode to our Steam players as part of this Early Access package. When all four islands are complete, it will be spun up into one big package and given a full and Final Release! Now that all the systems of the game are in place, we will be able to roll out the next islands quicker than the first one. Today it has been released for Linux 64 bit. Linux 32 support has been removed due to Steam removal of that platform. Windows will be next, followed by OSX. We are happy to say we *finally* have a working OSX version! It only has a couple graphics glitches and isn't fully integrated into Steam yet, but worse case it won't have the Steam overlay to start, I'm working on it now tho.

[ 2017-02-24 15:13:59 CET ] [ Original post ]

I am very proud to announce the release of DON'T BE PATCHMAN: EPISODE ONE. What is Episode One? There weren't any episodes before! Well, the game has grown too big, so now there are episodes. Each island is an episode. The first island is Episode One, it's the forest island with Red Drones and the Circle Boss, plus Granny and the House Sheeple. It contains four comic book pages to collect, each with it's own music. There are ten levels, some of them are quite complex. The last level, the circle boss level, has a NEW surprise ending when you beat it! There are a TON of new features in this release. Procedural generation is a big one! Level Nine is a drone factory maze that changes every time you play it. Many of the levels have what I call "partial" procedural generation, the level as a whole "feels" the same every time you play, but a lot of things are moved around each time, creating a unique experience for every player. Other features that are new include story dialogs, effects level setting, shack menu, swarm levels, drone sight scanners, orange prediction power, poster counts, new music and sound, drone garages, destructive beam machines, shovel tool, stomach UI, joystick hints, and more... We will continue to provide each episode to our Steam players as part of this Early Access package. When all four islands are complete, it will be spun up into one big package and given a full and Final Release! Now that all the systems of the game are in place, we will be able to roll out the next islands quicker than the first one. Today it has been released for Linux 64 bit. Linux 32 support has been removed due to Steam removal of that platform. Windows will be next, followed by OSX. We are happy to say we *finally* have a working OSX version! It only has a couple graphics glitches and isn't fully integrated into Steam yet, but worse case it won't have the Steam overlay to start, I'm working on it now tho. NOTE: This is the EARLY ACCESS release of Episode One. Which is basically like a beta version. Once this game transitions to Release, then Episode One is out of beta as well.

[ 2017-02-24 13:19:37 CET ] [ Original post ]

We've rolled out Version 0.5 of our game! This includes a LOT of new content and features, including seven comic book pages and a new main menu. There are still a ton of features waiting to be deployed that are used in later levels. [img=http://i.imgur.com/ZFHxu3P.png][/img] Patchman is no longer a SteamOS/Linux exclusive. While we were the first to do so, we're no longer the only one. We're passing the torch along to another game, will anyone else take it? KNOWN ISSUES: - Sometimes the Back button the Comics stops working - Sometimes respawn on Easy/Medium for Level 5 crashes - Hints are a bit quirky or not optimal sometimes We've issued fixes for these but aren't 100% sure they are solved. LINUX RELEASE NOTES: - If you are on Linux and experience troubles launching after upgrade, please uninstall and reinstall. Cheers and Don't Be Patchman!

[ 2016-04-29 14:48:59 CET ] [ Original post ]

We've rolled out Version 0.5 of our game! This includes a LOT of new content and features, including seven comic book pages and a new main menu. There are still a ton of features waiting to be deployed that are used in later levels. [img=http://i.imgur.com/ZFHxu3P.png][/img] Patchman is no longer a SteamOS/Linux exclusive. While we were the first to do so, we're no longer the only one. We're passing the torch along to another game, will anyone else take it? KNOWN ISSUES: - Sometimes the Back button the Comics stops working - Sometimes respawn on Easy/Medium for Level 5 crashes - Hints are a bit quirky or not optimal sometimes We've issued fixes for these but aren't 100% sure they are solved. LINUX RELEASE NOTES: - If you are on Linux and experience troubles launching after upgrade, please uninstall and reinstall. Cheers and Don't Be Patchman!

[ 2016-04-29 14:48:59 CET ] [ Original post ]

It was always a hope to add animated cutscenes into the game. At one point I (developer Dave) had taken inspiration from Super Meat Boy and tried my hand at animating a scene using Synfig (an opensource Flash-like tool). That didn't work out well enough to go forward. Karly MacDonald was asked to try her hand at a cutscene. She successfully created a test scene and I successfully integrated it into the engine, displaying it before Level 5 (factory boss fight). This scene never shipped with the Early Alpha tho, because I didn't want players to expect more of them until I knew for sure we could commit to them. While Karly did her job, the remaining scenes were canceled due to the looming unaffordable expense. You can see a video of it here: https://youtu.be/D5AEZtKtJTQ The cutscene worked, but the effort involved in just this little scene would have to be multiplied many times over to get a real story going.

COMIC BOOK

So... no cutscenes possible, but did we give up? No! Another approach was conjured up! What if we told the story in another fashion, instead of animated, we could have a series of pages and panels? Ihor and I sat down over a series of meetings and discussed the feasibility of this plan. We decided we could do 10 pages over a course of two months, and thus we started on it. Ihor created an interested test page set to the pace of his own music: Then Dave started storyboarding, which was far more difficult and agonizing than anticipated. It took a month of on/off sketching to get a semi-acceptable storyboard. Even then, we changed and tweaked the storyboard as we went and decided to add more pages to flesh out the story a bit more. Finally we ended up with a 15 page comic book that we have finished this week! [img=http://i.imgur.com/PbRECxr.png][/img]

COLLECTING THE PAGES

As you move Patchman about the game world, you have the opportunity to find each page of the comic book, collect them, and complete the entire set.

PLOT TWISTS AND SHOCKERS

You may be thinking: "But don't I already know the whole story of Patchman? Didn't you write it out?" Yes, you know the gist of it, but not the details, and what's more important, you don't know the source of the whole plan behind the Drones and control of the Sheeple, the origin of Patchman, and more epic plot twists that we won't even hint at here. As you collect the final pages, the story will tie together, bits and pieces of the game you may have thought were trivial take on relevance, and the full meaning behind the title of the game will make sense. Furthermore, the comic is only what happened BEFORE the game takes place. So there are more surprises in store as you continue on through the game, including the ending(s). [img=http://i.imgur.com/ZFHxu3P.png][/img]

NO WORDS CAN SAY

And yet through all this there are no words in the game beyond the title screen and some explanatory menu labels. These are all available for translation to Unicode languages. We did experiment with adding captions to the comics, and we'll leave those as an Easter egg that you can enable by entering a secret code. These can also be translated to other languages. It has been extremely challenging to craft a game and story without using any words or sentences! We even worry if this will impact the game negatively, but it's one of the early artistic choices we made, and think it leaves room for contemplation and interpretation of the events. Also, after testing and receiving feedback for the comic, a fair share of people complained about the poorly written dialog, and a high majority agreed that the words weren't necessary as the pictures were enough to get the plot points across.

WHAT REMAINS

We still have a lot of work left to complete levels, bosses, integrate more art, endings, special effects, and sound. But we are getting so close to the end and release! "When exactly" is hard to predict as our lead/sole programmer Dave has limited time to work on this (not by choice). There are countless new features just waited to be shipped and played with...

[ 2016-04-12 17:25:33 CET ] [ Original post ]

It was always a hope to add animated cutscenes into the game. At one point I (developer Dave) had taken inspiration from Super Meat Boy and tried my hand at animating a scene using Synfig (an opensource Flash-like tool). That didn't work out well enough to go forward. Karly MacDonald was asked to try her hand at a cutscene. She successfully created a test scene and I successfully integrated it into the engine, displaying it before Level 5 (factory boss fight). This scene never shipped with the Early Alpha tho, because I didn't want players to expect more of them until I knew for sure we could commit to them. While Karly did her job, the remaining scenes were canceled due to the looming unaffordable expense. You can see a video of it here: https://youtu.be/D5AEZtKtJTQ The cutscene worked, but the effort involved in just this little scene would have to be multiplied many times over to get a real story going.

COMIC BOOK

So... no cutscenes possible, but did we give up? No! Another approach was conjured up! What if we told the story in another fashion, instead of animated, we could have a series of pages and panels? Ihor and I sat down over a series of meetings and discussed the feasibility of this plan. We decided we could do 10 pages over a course of two months, and thus we started on it. Ihor created an interested test page set to the pace of his own music: Then Dave started storyboarding, which was far more difficult and agonizing than anticipated. It took a month of on/off sketching to get a semi-acceptable storyboard. Even then, we changed and tweaked the storyboard as we went and decided to add more pages to flesh out the story a bit more. Finally we ended up with a 15 page comic book that we have finished this week! [img=http://i.imgur.com/PbRECxr.png][/img]

COLLECTING THE PAGES

As you move Patchman about the game world, you have the opportunity to find each page of the comic book, collect them, and complete the entire set.

PLOT TWISTS AND SHOCKERS

You may be thinking: "But don't I already know the whole story of Patchman? Didn't you write it out?" Yes, you know the gist of it, but not the details, and what's more important, you don't know the source of the whole plan behind the Drones and control of the Sheeple, the origin of Patchman, and more epic plot twists that we won't even hint at here. As you collect the final pages, the story will tie together, bits and pieces of the game you may have thought were trivial take on relevance, and the full meaning behind the title of the game will make sense. Furthermore, the comic is only what happened BEFORE the game takes place. So there are more surprises in store as you continue on through the game, including the ending(s). [img=http://i.imgur.com/ZFHxu3P.png][/img]

NO WORDS CAN SAY

And yet through all this there are no words in the game beyond the title screen and some explanatory menu labels. These are all available for translation to Unicode languages. We did experiment with adding captions to the comics, and we'll leave those as an Easter egg that you can enable by entering a secret code. These can also be translated to other languages. It has been extremely challenging to craft a game and story without using any words or sentences! We even worry if this will impact the game negatively, but it's one of the early artistic choices we made, and think it leaves room for contemplation and interpretation of the events. Also, after testing and receiving feedback for the comic, a fair share of people complained about the poorly written dialog, and a high majority agreed that the words weren't necessary as the pictures were enough to get the plot points across.

WHAT REMAINS

We still have a lot of work left to complete levels, bosses, integrate more art, endings, special effects, and sound. But we are getting so close to the end and release! "When exactly" is hard to predict as our lead/sole programmer Dave has limited time to work on this (not by choice). There are countless new features just waited to be shipped and played with...

[ 2016-04-12 17:25:33 CET ] [ Original post ]

We've pushed out a new update to the game today, and we are now at 0.40! UPDATE 0.40a (Nov 6 2015): - Quadrant Select Screen - Checkpoints / Quick Respawns - Difficulty Selection - Updated Bear, Cub, Squirrel Art - Level 1/5 Ending Changed - One-Press Joystick Actions - Game Mouse Cursor - Level 2+3 Tweaks - Waterfall Death - Level Ratings (one point per difficulty) - Dead Tree Animations - Soil/Hoe Particle Effects - Sheeple Brainwashing Effects - Some more sounds - Lots of small tweaks Some major things still to come in the next update: - Second Quadrant of (5) Levels - Square Boss - Cactus Plant We had hoped to release the second quadrant with this update, but seeing as it's not quite ready (you can't kill the Square Boss yet) it is still worthwhile sharing all the new goodies in this release! Keep in mind that the first five levels will change, some will be moved, and some will/may be deprecated forever! So beat them while you can. One major change is the ending of the first level. If you've already beaten this level, it is highly recommended you give it another go. ːsteamhappyː

[ 2015-11-06 19:14:52 CET ] [ Original post ]

Windows Release Delayed

We regret to inform you that the Windows and OSX releases of Don't Be Patchman are not ready! We had hoped/said that it would be available roughly a month after the initial Linux release. Now, we are not sure, and consider them delayed indefinitely, but at the same time, they could pop up at any moment! Often a daunting technical task like this turns out to be easier than expected, so who knows? There are a number of reasons for this, so as the programmer (Dave) I will explain as best I can: the single biggest factor is that I have been short on time, and taken on a variety jobs to make ends meet, including stocking produce at a grocery store, washing dishes in a cafe, and building an engineering application for my father. Throw on top of that raising two children and you can see why time is tight. However, developing and completing this game remains my top creative priority, and I work on it every chance I get! The dilemma I face is: do I work on the game itself, or do I work on the supporting material, such as platform support, marketing, etc? I'm good at creating the game, not so much at the other areas. My current goal is to finish the second quadrant of the game before moving on to additional platform support. Otherwise my efforts are splintered, and it's best to focus on one chunk of tasks at a time. Square Boss Preview:
Over the month of August+September not only did I work those three jobs but also updated the game's joystick code, added in new features like the level select screen, quadrant select screen, Steam achievements, alternate language support, keycards, level scores, new music licenses, bug fixes, and so on. I have to sacrifice a lot of things in life, like vacations, money, television, etc to make progress on this game. It might not look like it on the surface, but underneath it is very complex, with many interlocking parts that require focus and dedication to design and maintain. This game is my greatest creative passion in life - so it will be finished one way or the other! While the July goal of Early Access was met, technically, the final release looks like it could be delayed by months. We'll be providing Beta-level backers with keys in October as the estimated release for the beta has passed. Fortunately, the game seems very stable: error reports are few and far between! We're in the middle of working on the next five levels and the Square Boss to top them off. Cutscenes are looking doubtful... they are just too expensive for our budget. They were a stretch goal for our crowdfunding that did not hit anyways. If we can procure enough funds through Steam via Early Access, then we can pay to have the cutscenes made. Even if we can do well in Final Release, we can retroactively add the cutscenes. Good news though, we have a new "Quadrant Select" screen that serves in telling a bit of the narrative, which you'll see in the next update.
Hang tight, Windows and OSX gamers, there are plenty of great games to play to tide you over, and Patchman will arrive on your desktop before you know it! One last bit of news: Dave will be demoing "Don't Be Patchman" at the Retro Gaming Expo in Portland this weekend: http://retrogamingexpo.com

[ 2015-10-13 16:10:37 CET ] [ Original post ]

We just want to give a quick shoutout to WriterOfAlicrow! The first player - and ONLY player ... to defeat... the CIRCLE BOSS!!! IN FACT: The only player to beat the level BEFORE the Circle Boss. What's that, wimps? Can't pass level four? CAN'T EVEN GET TO LEVEL FOUR? *shakes head in disappointment* WELL CHEER UP, BECAUSE THIS GUY DID IT: http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198043364650 What lies within the circle boss?
What happens when the dome cracks?
What is revealed? What could be inside that metal shell... and why? Now that someone has finally beaten the Circle Boss, we can move on to the Square Boss, the next major villain to fight. Other news to follow......

[ 2015-10-01 15:40:31 CET ] [ Original post ]

Grab the first achievement while you can! It's a special limited-time one for you cool early adopters! All you have to do to get it is run the game and visit the main menu. We'll be unrolling a lot more achievements out in the near future, we've got a big batch of icons just waiting. Some will be very tricky to get! >) Also included is much-improved joystick support. Please visit our joystick support thread if you have any troubles or want to learn more details: http://steamcommunity.com/app/378410/discussions/1/530649887208671708/ Update: 0.35a

[ 2015-08-19 19:39:53 CET ] [ Original post ]

Shocked by the horrible level select screen that launched with the game? Worry no more! Our new level screen is over one-thousand times better! It still isn't finished, but it is light-years ahead of where we were before. We'll be adding more effects and graphical tweaks to the screen, plus achievement ratings on each level that unlock bonuses if you do well. Also included in this patch are a number of glitch fixes and improvements. PATCH #0.34a

[ 2015-08-14 21:44:04 CET ] [ Original post ]

Welcome to our little Indie game! The first build available will be Linux / SteamOS only. There will be no initial Windows or OSX support - but that will come in about a month. There seems to be a glitch with the store page, it says Minimum Windows System Requirements when it should not. We do have Windows builds made but they are not up-to-date so for the short-term we'd just like to focus on getting the Linux builds running smoothly. The goal of this Early Access is to let people have a bit of fun playing the game before it is all polished up and finished. We've included five levels and one boss. Sounds small? Well, good luck beating the boss the first time around, if you can even get to it. ;) There are three more bosses scheduled as well as Steam Achievements, Trading Cards, and Cloud Saves. Thanks for checking out the game!

[ 2015-07-21 22:04:46 CET ] [ Original post ]