You there! Tired of being a pathetic, unlovable underling, scrounging to make sense of your painful existence while simultaneously being crushed beneath the weight of endless responsibilities and your own constant failure? What if I told you there was a way out? That's right, by competing in a Sumo Smashdown, you can have the success you always dreamed of. Look like a winner! Earn the admiration and adoration of your peers! Never be alone again!

What is a Sumo Smashdown, you ask? Well it's a head to head multiplayer game in which two competing players launch themselves out of cannons onto a precarious platform overlooking 7-ft (2M) metal spikes. The one who doesn't die horribly wins the round. Win a few rounds to win the match. win the match, and you'll be rewarded with a worthless piece of shit a chic accessory! Get enough accessories and who knows ;^)