Dearest NotGamers, It is with a touch of sadness that we let you know today that we will be retiring both NotTheNameWeWanted and NotCoD. This means the games will no longer be available to buy on Steam. If you own the game already, you will continue to have access to it to download, install and launch, so never fear - the ridiculous hand-drawn antics will live on forever in your hearts and your Steam library. We want to thank you all for everything over the last 7 years. We never in a million years expected that so many people would connect to such a stupid idea. Were not sure if that says more about you or us. But thank you. Thank you for our first unexpected experience of community, for the laughs and for the thousands of dollars you raised for charity. Dont worry. This is just the beginning. Your pals, NotGames x

As of April 21st 2018, the game formally known as NotGTAV will be rebranded as "NotTheNameWeWanted". The game itself is still the same ruthless snake-like parody set in Britain's green and pleasant lands it always was, complete with shonky hand-drawn graphics. You can still play as Daffyd, Darren, and former British PM David Cameron in this short, satirical tour of the glories of the UK's M4 corridor. And it is still the same easy to play, hard to master, addictive, hilarious and cheap cult hit game it was. So nothing has changed. Except the name. So, to summarise, the game formerly known as "NotGTAV" is now called NotTheNameWeWanted". If this announcement has left you positively bursting with legality, here's a list of totally legal things to do: -- Invade a Middle-Eastern country for their oil wealth. -- Host a children's show or star in a popular American sit-com in the 70s. -- Move your inherited riches to an offshore tax haven -- Put the kettle on. -- Take the kettle off again. It looks stupid on you. -- Capitalism. Finally, we would like to point out that NotCOD, our much better follow up game, and winner of the "Funniest Game That No-One's Ever Heard Of" award for a second successive year is also available on Steam, and, to mark the event of the name change, both these games will be available at 75% off from this Friday for the whole of next week. And they were already cheap to start with...

In an extraordinary act of self sabotage, timed to match that of our beloved country, NotGames are slashing the prices of their games by 75% for the next fortnight. Spokesman Kenneth said We wanted to get a jump on things and see how much income we will have in five years time when the pound is worth about a quarter of its current value. While other software companies may not be equipped to deal with the upcoming economic carnage we are testing all our systems with this stupid sale. As well as bringing the price of each of our games down to less than a quid, this sale should pretty much finish us financially as a company as weve had a terrible year and have now officially run out of milk. Aficionados of all things NotGames may be entertained by the regular content we upload on YouTube and FaceBook. These are specifically designed to keep you entertained during the long wait for us to make another game.

In an extraordinary act of self sabotage, timed to match that of our beloved country, NotGames are slashing the prices of their games by 75% for the next fortnight. Spokesman Kenneth said “We wanted to get a jump on things and see how much income we will have in five years time when the pound is worth about a quarter of its current value. “While other software companies may not be equipped to deal with the upcoming economic carnage we are testing all our systems with this stupid sale. “As well as bringing the price of each of our games down to less than a quid, this sale should pretty much finish us financially as a company as we’ve had a terrible year and have now officially run out of milk.” Aficionados of all things NotGames may be entertained by the regular content we upload on YouTube and FaceBook. These are specifically designed to keep you entertained during the long wait for us to make another game.

To celebrate the release of our ridiculous new game NotCoD, NotGTAV will be on sale for a glorious discount of 75% off.

To celebrate the release of our ridiculous new game NotCoD, NotGTAV will be on sale for a glorious discount of 75% off.

To celebrate the release of our ridiculous new game NotCoD, NotGTAV will be on sale for a glorious discount of 75% off.

Lovers of NotGTAV! The next game from the idiots behind NotGTAV is nearing its release date! If you liked NotGTAV then you will love the improved graphics, better gameplay and more offensive nature of NotCoD. Did that make you excited for the release of NotCoD in April? That is very unbritish of you, as we all know the English don't get excited. Now grab a cup of tea, sit back and get acquainted with the most English character around, General Bushyface, in our latest teaser. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzPjpn_j4UE http://store.steampowered.com/app/435460/

Lovers of NotGTAV! The next game from the idiots behind NotGTAV is nearing its release date! If you liked NotGTAV then you will love the improved graphics, better gameplay and more offensive nature of NotCoD. Did that make you excited for the release of NotCoD in April? That is very unbritish of you, as we all know the English don't get excited. Now grab a cup of tea, sit back and get acquainted with the most English character around, General Bushyface, in our latest teaser. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzPjpn_j4UE http://store.steampowered.com/app/435460/

NotGames, the indie dev team who should probably stay in their rooms and think about what they've done, are delighted to announce that, thanks to the success of their debut game, NotGTAV, they are able to today make a first payment to their charity - Peer Productions - of £5,000.
Peer Productions works with young people to provide high quality social education through theatre. Their highly acclaimed theatre work has been seen by tens of thousands of young people throughout the South of England. All of their performers are young volunteers who spend a gruelling year at the company before reaching the drama-school or university of their choice. The peer to peer model allows the team to effectively deliver messages to difficult-to-reach teenagers on such vital subjects as teenage pregnancy, self-harm, addiction, and eating disorders. Alex Paterson, NotGames Chief Art-Scribbler, said "We are delighted to make what we hope will be the first of many payments to Peer Productions from sales of our game. Our entire team has had their lives profoundly and permenantly changed by this incredible little charity. In fact, without Peer Productions, our team would never have met. That's why we took the unprecedented step of giving all of the profits from our game directly to them. Although we're not actually in profit yet - games are expensive to make - we wanted to make a first payment anyway to help this important organisation with the constant battle for survival felt by all those working in the charitable and voluntary sector." Mr Andy Murray (still not that one), NotGames BuildMaster General added "We're all genuinely astounded by the success of NotGTAV. It seems to have found its natural audience on Steam and we couldn't be more delighted. We'd like to thank all those who have bought the game and helped both us and Peer Productions to continue to persue our aims." NotGames are currently working on NotCoD, a satire of the Call of Duty series which is due out in Q1 of 2016, as well as preparing a scurrilous and probably offensive Christmas Single featuring David Cameron and His Bullingdon Big Band. NotGTAV is ON SALE on Steam until Monday 19th October!

NotGames, the indie dev team who should probably stay in their rooms and think about what they've done, are delighted to announce that, thanks to the success of their debut game, NotGTAV, they are able to today make a first payment to their charity - Peer Productions - of 5,000.
Peer Productions works with young people to provide high quality social education through theatre. Their highly acclaimed theatre work has been seen by tens of thousands of young people throughout the South of England. All of their performers are young volunteers who spend a gruelling year at the company before reaching the drama-school or university of their choice. The peer to peer model allows the team to effectively deliver messages to difficult-to-reach teenagers on such vital subjects as teenage pregnancy, self-harm, addiction, and eating disorders. Alex Paterson, NotGames Chief Art-Scribbler, said "We are delighted to make what we hope will be the first of many payments to Peer Productions from sales of our game. Our entire team has had their lives profoundly and permenantly changed by this incredible little charity. In fact, without Peer Productions, our team would never have met. That's why we took the unprecedented step of giving all of the profits from our game directly to them. Although we're not actually in profit yet - games are expensive to make - we wanted to make a first payment anyway to help this important organisation with the constant battle for survival felt by all those working in the charitable and voluntary sector." Mr Andy Murray (still not that one), NotGames BuildMaster General added "We're all genuinely astounded by the success of NotGTAV. It seems to have found its natural audience on Steam and we couldn't be more delighted. We'd like to thank all those who have bought the game and helped both us and Peer Productions to continue to persue our aims." NotGames are currently working on NotCoD, a satire of the Call of Duty series which is due out in Q1 of 2016, as well as preparing a scurrilous and probably offensive Christmas Single featuring David Cameron and His Bullingdon Big Band. NotGTAV is ON SALE on Steam until Monday 19th October!

We are delighted to announce that the "Moral Conundrum Sale" of our cult hit game NotGTAV begins today at 6pm UK time and will last all this week on Steam. And we've decided to offer our potential customers an interesting choice... As you are probably aware, we give 100% of the profits from NotGTAV to charity. While this is very good in terms of our long-term karma it's turned out to be rather problematic for our short-term survival. That's why we released the Kickstarter Avoidance Album - to try and stay alive long enough to release NotCoD! So here's the deal: For less than £1 this week you can buy either the game itself as a standalone or you can buy the Game of The Week edition which includes the soundtrack album for the same price. And what's the difference? Well, if you buy the game as a standalone without the album, then ALL the profits will go to Peer Productions - the game's chosen charity - but if you buy the bundle then the money from the album portion of the sale (one third) will go to us and we promise to spend it on tea, biscuits, and finishing NotCoD. And, of course, with the bundle, you get more laughs for the same price 'cos the album, which we throw in with the game, is the funniest soundtrack available on Steam. So it's up to you... Support the devs, support the charity, or support both. Or, of course, click away and avoid this difficult choice but feel slightly guilty when lying in bed tonight knowing you could have helped but didn't because you were unable or unwilling to make a choice and that this paralysis in the face of action is probably symptomatic of something greater and decide to book yourself in for three years of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which will cost way more than the quid you could have originally spent buying the funniest game of Snake ever made. Those wishing to show true generosity of spirit can: 1) Buy multiple copies of the bundle to gift to all their friends. 2) Donate directly to Peer Productions via their website - www.peerproductions.co.uk 3) Wait until the end of the sale next week and buy the game for twice as much. 4) Do something random and nice for a complete stranger today and tell them it's a gift from NotGames. 5) Quit their jobs to volunteer overseas helping refugees. 6) Nail themselves to a cross and pontificate profoundly (although this may not actually help much and could, further down the line, arguably cause Inquisitions, Crusades, and America).

We are delighted to announce that the "Moral Conundrum Sale" of our cult hit game NotGTAV begins today at 6pm UK time and will last all this week on Steam. And we've decided to offer our potential customers an interesting choice... As you are probably aware, we give 100% of the profits from NotGTAV to charity. While this is very good in terms of our long-term karma it's turned out to be rather problematic for our short-term survival. That's why we released the Kickstarter Avoidance Album - to try and stay alive long enough to release NotCoD! So here's the deal: For less than 1 this week you can buy either the game itself as a standalone or you can buy the Game of The Week edition which includes the soundtrack album for the same price. And what's the difference? Well, if you buy the game as a standalone without the album, then ALL the profits will go to Peer Productions - the game's chosen charity - but if you buy the bundle then the money from the album portion of the sale (one third) will go to us and we promise to spend it on tea, biscuits, and finishing NotCoD. And, of course, with the bundle, you get more laughs for the same price 'cos the album, which we throw in with the game, is the funniest soundtrack available on Steam. So it's up to you... Support the devs, support the charity, or support both. Or, of course, click away and avoid this difficult choice but feel slightly guilty when lying in bed tonight knowing you could have helped but didn't because you were unable or unwilling to make a choice and that this paralysis in the face of action is probably symptomatic of something greater and decide to book yourself in for three years of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which will cost way more than the quid you could have originally spent buying the funniest game of Snake ever made. Those wishing to show true generosity of spirit can: 1) Buy multiple copies of the bundle to gift to all their friends. 2) Donate directly to Peer Productions via their website - www.peerproductions.co.uk 3) Wait until the end of the sale next week and buy the game for twice as much. 4) Do something random and nice for a complete stranger today and tell them it's a gift from NotGames. 5) Quit their jobs to volunteer overseas helping refugees. 6) Nail themselves to a cross and pontificate profoundly (although this may not actually help much and could, further down the line, arguably cause Inquisitions, Crusades, and America).

Vive La Bodge! NotGames, dodgy cousin of the indie games industry, is pleased to announce that they have got Mac Acheivements working in NotGTAV. Sort of. BuildMaster General Andy Murray (still not that one) explained "We wrote to YoYo Games months ago to tell them that the Steam Overlay was not working in Game Maker. The bug was logged as critical. No fix came along. Having been passed around a bit it has now been downgraded. However, we have got a workaround... "The overlay still doesn't work. We want to make it clear that we simply can't fix this. Our code works - Game Maker currently doesn't. But the Acheivements now drop and although there is no on-screen notification they will be shown in your Steam Account correctly." Mac Users aren't a large part of the NotGames player base. At the time of writing NotGTAV had sold only 2,857 copies on Mac. But the team wanted to support them nontheless. Company Hermit Jay Orbaum commented "Apple users have had a rough run of things recently. First Steve Jobs, then the whole watch thing... at least now they have stupid acheivements to collect in NotGTAV. Hopefully this will provide a glimmer of light in these difficult few years. After all, it's almost as good as the PC and Linux versions now.". The company has promised to keep nagging YoYo Games like a teenage girl who wants a sweet sixteen party until they sort the overlay. As soon as it's working another update will come out and will be announced here. Those who wish to help the process along may like to consider daily recitation of this scroll while flagellating yourself with a now-defunct iPhone 4 cable. It’s ancient, highly revered, and poorly cropped. You’re welcome.

Vive La Bodge! NotGames, dodgy cousin of the indie games industry, is pleased to announce that they have got Mac Acheivements working in NotGTAV. Sort of. BuildMaster General Andy Murray (still not that one) explained "We wrote to YoYo Games months ago to tell them that the Steam Overlay was not working in Game Maker. The bug was logged as critical. No fix came along. Having been passed around a bit it has now been downgraded. However, we have got a workaround... "The overlay still doesn't work. We want to make it clear that we simply can't fix this. Our code works - Game Maker currently doesn't. But the Acheivements now drop and although there is no on-screen notification they will be shown in your Steam Account correctly." Mac Users aren't a large part of the NotGames player base. At the time of writing NotGTAV had sold only 2,857 copies on Mac. But the team wanted to support them nontheless. Company Hermit Jay Orbaum commented "Apple users have had a rough run of things recently. First Steve Jobs, then the whole watch thing... at least now they have stupid acheivements to collect in NotGTAV. Hopefully this will provide a glimmer of light in these difficult few years. After all, it's almost as good as the PC and Linux versions now.". The company has promised to keep nagging YoYo Games like a teenage girl who wants a sweet sixteen party until they sort the overlay. As soon as it's working another update will come out and will be announced here. Those who wish to help the process along may like to consider daily recitation of this scroll while flagellating yourself with a now-defunct iPhone 4 cable. Its ancient, highly revered, and poorly cropped. Youre welcome.

In what can only be described as a day of superhuman productivity, we've managed to prepare the soundtrack DLC for release, release a bug fix patch and casually swerve a DMCA. Get your hands on the Soundtrack, with loads of new material and all your NotGTAV favourites. Or, if you've avoided the hype so far and haven't got a copy of NotGTAV, get the Game of the Week Edition bundle, which includes the Soundtrack! Patch notes: -Supersnake crash fixed (The album will download into your Steam folder)

In what can only be described as a day of superhuman productivity, we've managed to prepare the soundtrack DLC for release, release a bug fix patch and casually swerve a DMCA. Get your hands on the Soundtrack, with loads of new material and all your NotGTAV favourites. Or, if you've avoided the hype so far and haven't got a copy of NotGTAV, get the Game of the Week Edition bundle, which includes the Soundtrack! Patch notes: -Supersnake crash fixed (The album will download into your Steam folder)

In what has quickly become the weirdest day of our lives, and one of the most hectic, we've just received news from Valve that the plaintiff of our DMCA is now being treated as a false complainant. NotGTAV lives!!!!!! We're half-way through rebranding the game as NotDMCAV, and the store page we've designed gives us a huge giggle, so we're leaving you some of our new artwork (you may be able to tell it was done in a bit of a hurry) for a couple of days but, as we're not being sued, the name and game will be remaining the same. The only question that remains is.... who the heck is pretending to be Rockstar and issuing us DMCAs?! Best theory wins a free copy of our soon-to-be-late DLC (we've been a little preoccupied this last day.) Stick the kettle on. Have a cup of tea on us. We don't have time. Back to the studio. 'NotGTAV: The Kickstarter Avoidance Album' coming soon to Steam.

In what has quickly become the weirdest day of our lives, and one of the most hectic, we've just received news from Valve that the plaintiff of our DMCA is now being treated as a false complainant. NotGTAV lives!!!!!! We're half-way through rebranding the game as NotDMCAV, and the store page we've designed gives us a huge giggle, so we're leaving you some of our new artwork (you may be able to tell it was done in a bit of a hurry) for a couple of days but, as we're not being sued, the name and game will be remaining the same. The only question that remains is.... who the heck is pretending to be Rockstar and issuing us DMCAs?! Best theory wins a free copy of our soon-to-be-late DLC (we've been a little preoccupied this last day.) Stick the kettle on. Have a cup of tea on us. We don't have time. Back to the studio. 'NotGTAV: The Kickstarter Avoidance Album' coming soon to Steam.

NotDMCAV - RETURNING SOON TO STEAM. So we got our DMCA. A DMCA is a digital copyright claim. The service provider (Valve) is forced to take down the potentially infringing media (us) until the issue is resolved. It turns out that Rockstar apparently owns the letters ‘G’,’T’, ‘A’ and ‘V’, even if you stick a very clear prefix on it stating that it really, really isn’t Grand Theft Auto V. Whilst we’re not agreeing that we infringed copyright - and we still whole-heartedly believe that the name ‘NotGTAV’ ought to fall under parody protection laws - we’ve had a lot of messages asking when we’re going back up, and we’re therefore working with the solution that enables us to do that as fast as possible. ‘NotGTAV’ will therefore be BACK ON STEAM as ‘NotDMCAV’ as soon as we can humanly change all our assets. You can all look forward to the ‘Special ‘Legal’ Edition’ - even more legal than it was before! We’re working as hard as we can to get it back out to you alongside the upcoming album. However, we hope you appreciate that we are only a handful of incredibly caffeinated people working from a very tiny house, and we’re only human. DLC will hit before the weekend, but please forgive us if we’re late. Thank you for all your messages of love and support. They’ve meant more than you can imagine. Please don't hate at Valve or Steam; they're the middle man and have nothing to do with this. If you want to hate, you know who's trying to take down the underdog working for charity. In the meantime, here’s Kenneth’s latest ‘Let Us Play’ for you to amuse yourself. In this episode, he takes on ‘The Walking Dead’ - with a lot of ‘Dead’ and not too much ‘Walking’ at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIsF_0bjq4A

NotDMCAV - RETURNING SOON TO STEAM. So we got our DMCA. A DMCA is a digital copyright claim. The service provider (Valve) is forced to take down the potentially infringing media (us) until the issue is resolved. It turns out that Rockstar apparently owns the letters G,T, A and V, even if you stick a very clear prefix on it stating that it really, really isnt Grand Theft Auto V. Whilst were not agreeing that we infringed copyright - and we still whole-heartedly believe that the name NotGTAV ought to fall under parody protection laws - weve had a lot of messages asking when were going back up, and were therefore working with the solution that enables us to do that as fast as possible. NotGTAV will therefore be BACK ON STEAM as NotDMCAV as soon as we can humanly change all our assets. You can all look forward to the Special Legal Edition - even more legal than it was before! Were working as hard as we can to get it back out to you alongside the upcoming album. However, we hope you appreciate that we are only a handful of incredibly caffeinated people working from a very tiny house, and were only human. DLC will hit before the weekend, but please forgive us if were late. Thank you for all your messages of love and support. Theyve meant more than you can imagine. Please don't hate at Valve or Steam; they're the middle man and have nothing to do with this. If you want to hate, you know who's trying to take down the underdog working for charity. In the meantime, heres Kenneths latest Let Us Play for you to amuse yourself. In this episode, he takes on The Walking Dead - with a lot of Dead and not too much Walking at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIsF_0bjq4A

Dear NotFans and NotFriends, So as most of you know, about 9PM British time last night NotGTAV vanished without a trace from the Steam Store. We are still not back online. We found out about this at the same time you did, when you guys started to tell us you were no longer able to access the store page. Everything was hunky-dory at our end and so we reached out to Valve for support, assuming that one of us had ballsed the update up. No reply. We reached out on Developer forums to their support team - we even tried to call them, all to no avail. Radio silence. Approximately 2AM BST, 5 hours after we were taken down, a Valve employee replies to us on the Developers forum with the following message: "Sorry about the confusion. Whoever is the main point of contact (probably the person that signed the SDA) should have an e-mail with details. An official DMCA (copyright) claim was filed against your product. And part of the legal process for dealing with such formal claims is to take down the product in question until the claim has been resolved. The e-mail sent will have details and instructions on how to proceed. Maybe check your spam filter if you don't see such an e-mail." Needless to say, we had been frantically refreshing emails for 5 hours and had received no such email. We asked for them to resend. Nothing. Nowt. Zilch. Zip. Not a peep from anyone. So here we are, 15 hours after the takedown and the entirety of the information we have is contained in this post. You know as much as we do. We don't know if its Rockstar, hell it could even be Lidl, or just someone else (we're looking at YOU, TIM). Please don't flame anyone. But stay tuned. Those of you willing to support us - a tiny, tiny business of 7 people who make games for charity and a laugh in their spare time in a living room - you may receive your battle summons/request. We of course wanted to release our soundtrack DLC today, that we have recorded from scratch in just 4 days for you had delivered to us from the future, but that cannot happen if we don't have a store page. Maybe it will happen today, probably not to be honest. Your guess is as good as ours. I was always terrible at guessing games. I'm better at scrabble. When we are put back up for sale on Steam we will talk to Valve about extending the discount so that those of you that wanted to buy it last night, but were unable to, don't suffer. The best thing you guys can do right now is go make someone laugh on our behalf. And that's what we'll carry on trying to do. We are so grateful for your messages of support, the fanart, the jokes. It's literally keeping us going here. Someone put the kettle on. NotYours, The NotGames Team

Thanks to all those users who've posted in our discussions, we have actually been listening to you! The latest patch now incorporates a verified and obtainable "Paradox Achievement". Good luck. Additionally, users will now be able to take screenshots using Steam's F12 feature to upload to the Community if they wish. We will continue to monitor your requests - the code monkeys are hard at work!

You asked. We listened. We delivered. Plus, we want to put off a Kickstarter for as long as humanly possible. NotGames' sister company, NotMusic, was founded in 1927 by our grandfather, Spencer NotGames IV, who was exiled from the family for the simple offence of simply not being funny (plus there was the unfortunate Hooker-Gate scandal.) In 1948, NotMusic pioneered the genre Euro Pop Whinge, and launched its flagship annual convention a few years later. In 1956, ithiswas re-branded as the 'Eurovision Song Contest' and still runs to this day. NotMusic later went on to spawn Simon Cowell from an ostrich cell and a piece of gammon. Failed projects include writing Rebecca Black's less successful debut single, 'Thursday' - featuring the lyric 'Thursday, Thursday, gotta stay in and do my homework on Thursday' - and Gotye's unreleased single 'Somebody That I'd Still Consider A Pretty Good Friend (No Hard Feelings Here.)' It came to our attention in 2015 that our shamed grandfather, Spencer NotGames IV, had passed away but generously, letting bygones be bygones, left us something in his will. It turns out that after being exiled, he'd moved to Belarus, and invented time travel. He discovered that in 2030 we release a killer album that goes triple platinum and makes Kanye pack it in. He's kindly shoved the tracks back through a temporal rift to us so that we can release it 15 years early. In the tradition of Monty Python and The Goons, we're releasing a full comedy album, with the tracks from the game you've been asking for - and then some. Tracks include: Five More Years (Of Rogering The Poor) - David Cameron and the Bullingdon Big Band Experience Kenneth's Country Garden - Kenneth and of course... Jacket Potato (DJ Spud-U-Love Remix) - Gazza the Rapping Skateboarder For a taste of things to come, you can watch the FULL Jacket Potato remix and accompanying video on Steam at http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=477530616 or on Youtube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfZqj6uURzs as a little teaser. 'NOTGTAV: THE KICKSTARTER AVOIDANCE ALBUM' - Coming soon to Steam only. Up yours, iTunes!

New update - *Fixes Supersnake bugs *Fixes Linux achievements resetting We're currently working on the rest of the achievement issues, thanks for bearing with us.

It is my pleasure to announce to all my fans that I, Kenneth, the main man, have finally caved in to the enormous pressure and have started my own Let Us Play series. In episode 1, I ask some of the big questions about what human life is worth and the extent to which we can remain moral in an immoral world. You can watch it on Steam at http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=473927436 or on Youtube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jWooMp58wY

It has come to our attention on our community discussion boards that there are certain concerns over the legality of NotGTAV, and whether we’re infringing Rockstar’s copyright. We’d like to formally address these questions with an extended history of NotGTAV’s development, which should help to put some of these worries to rest. 1812 AD: Development of NotGTAV begins in the hands of the team’s ancestors. Charles Babbage hears word of the project. “Holy Gumballs,” he says, “we’ve got to have this” - and goes on to invent the difference engine. 1860 AD: The founder of NotGames, Archibald Pennysworth, tragically passes away from a cruel case of moustache asphyxiation. Somewhat of a frontiersman and ever testing the boundaries of limitation, he choked on his own record-breaking facial hair whilst liberally applying whale blubber to curl the tips into his own ears. With his dying breath, he utters his final words; “Make sure this game gets released on Steam” and also “Urrrrghhhfhakjfbakjdsad.” RIP. 1861-1946 AD: The project is passed from father to son, refined, developed and perfected. Winston Churchill playtests the alpha build, and exclaims “We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in Wales. We shall fight in the Lidl in Swindon. We shall fight with a growing tail and try not to accidentally crash into it. We shall never surrender.” before he rage-quits. 1947 AD: Having failed to successfully patent our unique mechanic of using some stuff to destroy other stuff, Thomas T. Goldsmith Jr and Estle Ray Mann steal this idea and release the first video game, the Cathode Ray Tube Amusement Device. It may be fancy and electromechnical, but it’s not quite as catchy. This is just the beginning of many legal injustices suffered by NotGames. 1996 AD: Thaddeus Nokia travels from Finland to Surrey under the guise of a friendly visit. After eating our food, drinking our wine and romancing our women, he steals away in the dead of night with the secret blueprints and source code of our game. Two years later, he re-brands as ‘Snake’ and preloads the stolen game onto his indestructible phones. 1997-2013 AD: Following a tip-off from Thaddeus, Rockstar go one step further and steal the entire game concept. In a cunning move, they remove the ‘Not’ prefix and, whilst keeping the acronym, replace the title ‘Great Traffic Adventure’ with ‘Grand Theft Auto.’ They make a fortune. And then continue to keep making a fortune. Meanwhile, we crank a lot. 2014 AD: Initial launch of NotGTAV. It quickly becomes 165th in the Italian Google Play Store’s Arcade sub-category. This one sale brings fame, fortune and riches all round. After a lengthy battle with the paparazzi, the team launch their Greenlight campaign to reclaim NotGTAV, re-instating some VERY IMPORTANT AND NOTABLE DIFFERENCES from Grand Theft Auto 5. [See: video below] Having been encouraged by feedback such as ‘my eyes are bleeding,’ ‘not playable and not funny’ and ‘heresy’, it comes as no surprise to the team that their campaign is successful and they begin to prepare for the big release. 2015: NotGTAV is now available to you on Steam in its full original glory. With achievements and trading cards and stuff. You’re welcome. Hopefully this brief history of our game will have helped to alleviate your concerns and teach you the true origin of NotGTAV; for any further enquiries, please feel free to contact our resident lawyer at kenneththebigdawg@notgames.co.uk. His video can be seen at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xelh7doalI0

We are overwhelmed to announce that we have just received word from Buckingham Palace. Her majesty Queen Elizabeth II insists she plays NotGTAV before it is released to the plebs (her words). There is a long tradition stretching back many years, protected by British law, that the reigning monarch may demand access to any closed beta they wish. We were powerless to argue. Apparently she'll be round in a minute. We've put the kettle on.